Hate on me, it’s OK!

Something I struggled with for a long time, in fact, for as long as I remember, was having people dislike me. I know this is something MANY people would, have and will struggle with. But it is one thing that I have been thinking about a lot lately.

I used to find it so crippling when someone didn’t like me, almost like I would lose my mind for a while and really try and piece together the moment when they decided this or realised this and think, well what can I do to change this to make them like me again… silly right? So very very silly.

What I realised and came to terms with is that not everyone IS going to like me; I am not going to be every ones cup o’ tea… Just as much as some of them are not on my favourite peoples list.  We are all so very different, in so many ways, there is always going to be someone that doesn’t like you and then of course, there is definitely going to be someone you don’t like.

C’est la vie.

I don’t think it should be a knock on our self esteem, nor is it really any reflection of your character. Unless you are a nasty piece of work yourself, which you would know. And probably should realise that unless you stop being said ‘piece of nasty work’ you won’t be making ANYONES favourite persons list!..

… It’s just nature.

Not every animal in the jungle gets along, and that is just peaches for them (and also, for me, as I can’t imagine a group huddle with Lions and Zebras, that shiz is just odd), I bet they don’t waste another thought on it….as we should not.

If we worry so much about others liking us we are going to be sacrificing our true selves, and that will never work out. We will be undermining and questioning our own person, the one that we have worked hard to build up, and no one is worth sacrificing that, or doubting that for, no siree!

As long as we are waking up every morning and sticking on your metaphorical “THIS IS ME, LIKE IT OR NOT” cap, then that is all that needs to happen.

If we are staying true to ourselves, true to our mind, true to our soul, that is enough.

People will either like us for who we are, or they won’t, it’s that simple. And it’s OK.

Imagine if everyone liked you and everyone wanted to spend time with you and talk to you and dance with you… HOW UTTERLY EXHAUSTING! Ain’t nobody got time for that!

~ Link up Tuesday is on with Mrs IBOT, get on it, get to it, get reading, ciaoz ~

October 8, 2013 - 6:48 am

Lydia C. Lee - I think with age you get more comfortable to own your weirdness…but that’s not to say you don’t need to work on areas for improvement – you just are better at finding your tribe and not giving one about those who are outside it…(at least what they think)

October 8, 2013 - 7:06 am

Renee Wilson - Lol. True. Aint nobody got time for that. I am a shocker for worrying if people like me or not. I definitely spend way, way, way too much time worrying about it. Your argument makes sense though, and I need to remind myself to put that cap on everyday. Thanks 🙂

October 8, 2013 - 7:23 am

Bec | Mumma Tells - I moved around quite a bit growing up. I think it helped me realise exactly what ours saying. As a result, I am quick to determine whether or not a relationship with someone will form and be potentially lasting. Probably too quick! My group of friends is few, but I am far richer with them than a crowd just making up numbers. 🙂

October 8, 2013 - 7:23 am

Lisa aka Lybliss - So true, it is entirely unrealistic to expect that everyone will like me or that I will like everyone. My favourite quote right now is “I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me… Now I look around and wonder if I like them”
As I get older I am far more discerning about who gets my time and attention. This is me, and I’m okay

October 8, 2013 - 7:54 am

Deb @ Home life simplified - I used to be the same way – i look back and think it is all part of the perfectionism and anxiety for me – not being liked equated to flaws and doing something “wrong” in my old mindset. now i am where you are and know it is just what it is – we are not a match – even if i like someone it does not mean they will like me and that is about them as much about me… just like dating – i would never have expected every guy to like me so why think every potential friend or stranger would just instantly connect with me lol

October 8, 2013 - 8:47 am

Aroha @ Colours of Sunset - Good point – some people might not like us, but we don’t like everyone either. I think the important thing is to show respect, even if someone isn’t your cup of tea, they still have to be free to be who they are. You know, as long as they’re not a truly nasty piece of work, that is. Not all personalities are made to gel, that is for sure! Just be true to you, and spend time with those you DO like! xo

October 8, 2013 - 9:50 am

lizzy allan - muddle-headed mamma - I used to be exactly the same (and sometimes I think that a part of me is still like that). I really like your point about how exhausting it would be if everybody wanted to spend time with us … I’d never really thought of that before, but it’s so true! Sometimes people just don’t like us and the reason is not clear. I used to feel crippled with hurt when that would happen, but now I realise how much energy I wasted in doing so and how much happiness I was denying myself in the process. You’re absolutely right – we sacrifice a part of ourselves when we try to mold ourselves into being something other people will like.

October 8, 2013 - 11:10 am

Kerri - I agree and I think we grow into our skin & learn to know ourselves and love ourselves more. Important people matter, strangers matter less.

October 8, 2013 - 11:28 am

lisa - I am a people pleaser from way back, but as I have grown older and had a family, my life is all about them so I don’t worry too much now, I just be me. What someone says to you is a reflection of them, not you..

October 8, 2013 - 11:43 am

JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) - I’m certainly better with this the older I get. Now I just shrug it off and understand it’s impossible for us all to like each other. We are all sooo different! I do though, think that it is nice to feel accepted, for who we are. Acceptance and non-judgement of others is important and I do believe you can accept someone for who they are without necessarily liking them or wanting to be best buddies!

October 8, 2013 - 12:52 pm

Zoe Amy - I find that I don’t really mind what people think of me personally, but I find it hard when they don’t like my ideas. Wierd huh?

October 8, 2013 - 2:16 pm

Rhianna - Brilliant post. If only our teenage selfs could know this hey? There is no one better to be than you.

Leaving some fairy wishes and butterfly kisses from #teamIBOT

October 8, 2013 - 2:32 pm

[email protected] - I’ve wasted so much time worrying about this in the past Meagan, and I don’t think I’m the only one.
I love your analogy of the jungle, we all really just need to accept that everyone doesn’t like every other person in the world.
As long as I’m true to myself, I’m happy with whoever likes me…..or doesn’t. x

October 8, 2013 - 2:57 pm

Author Bek Mugridge - I am working on this and my people pleaserness so this is very topical to me, and I think is still following me around maybe from childhood and school and wanting to be liked by everybody. I have often admired friends who just live their life and aren’t caught up in who likes them or not, aren’t afraid to say no or not have to smile all the time if they are having a bad day.
Fantastic post X

October 8, 2013 - 3:22 pm

EssentiallyJess - Well said! Who has time to make everyone like them?

October 8, 2013 - 4:36 pm

Emma Fahy Davis - Oh I so wish we could all find this wisdom earlier in our lives! I spent my teens and early twenties desperately wanting to be liked, now I understand that it’s about nurturing the relationships with those who choose to be in my world far more than chasing those who will never stay in it. Even so, it’s a constant internal tug-of-war, every time I see an ‘unlike’ dip on my Facebook page I wonder what I’ve done to cause it, even tho I know that the person who clicked ‘unlike’ wasn’t really engaged and that engagement is far more important that a stagnant number, no matter how high that number is.

October 8, 2013 - 6:15 pm

x Sarah Kate x (@SKK25) - Agreed! Love yourself and shine bright and those that matter will truly love you!

October 8, 2013 - 6:56 pm

Tegan - I like the quote that says that it’s none of my business what anyone else thinks of me. It’s something that I try to remind myself when I catch myself ruminating about things.

October 8, 2013 - 7:59 pm

[email protected] Women - I am just pretty damn likeable, and if someone decides that is not their truth, good luck to them. 🙂

October 8, 2013 - 8:53 pm

Zanni Louise - Words of the wise! I think this is one of my number one struggles too. It can be completely crippling sometimes. As I mature, I slowly learn to realise that I can’t please everyone, and trying to is just exhausting. x

October 8, 2013 - 9:48 pm

Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me - I literally signed a sigh of relief after reading this. I know what you are saying. But despite this I still feel like it must be ‘me’ – right now I’m in the midst of being pushed out of a friendship again, surely it must be me? But in my head I know it’s not – my heart is arguing and putting up a bloody good fight!!! Luckily I have a FAB hubby who pulls me in to line and gives me perspective when I have very little x

October 8, 2013 - 10:46 pm

Sonia Life Love Hiccups - I totally get this and it is something that I struggle with. I cant help but get upset if someone unlikes me on instagram and I’ll get all sooky and think oooohhhhh why dont you like me anymore lol. But you are right, we cant live like that. we just need to be a person that we would like and as long as we can live with ourselves happily and know that we are a good person, than that is all that should really matter. easier said than done though sometimes xx

October 9, 2013 - 7:00 am

The Life of Clare - I’ve just read another great post, titled ‘what other people think of me is not my business’. I’ve always struggled with what people thought of me, and I’m slowly trying to learn that it’s really not my business!

October 9, 2013 - 11:09 am

Sonia - Ohhh WOW! This is something I experienced just yesterday – my first day back blogging. I’m ashamed to admit it knocked the wind out of my sails and still has me feeling a bit shaken, but I’m trying my darndest to pick myself up and keep going. Thank you for sharing something that probably so many of us think and feel but don’t have the courage to say. x

October 29, 2013 - 1:48 pm

Melinda - I read this when you first posted it and only just got around to coming back to comment!

This is so unbelievably true. I used to get so worried about people not liking me but now I have come to accept that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and if people don’t like me then so be it. Life is too short to worry about the haters! xx

PS. I can’t see how anyone could not like you anyway, you are such a beautiful + friendly soul!

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