Immerse yourself

We are all striving to be our better selves, whether this is conscious or not. Some of us go out of our way to find things and people to help us along our way, and some of us are just happy plodding along, picking up the pieces as we go, still shining, but not really pushing for it.

But… at the end of the day, we all want to be the best we can be.

Whichever one you are, you MUST know the value of surrounding yourselves with the right kind of people.

Studies have shown that we are most like the 5 closest people to us, we are pulling personality traits, mannerisms, self esteem… be that negative or positive, we are most influenced by those 5 closest people.

Now step back and think about that for a moment. If you want to excel and you want to reach your full potential, hanging around with negative Nancy, isn’t going to get you there very quickly.

The power of surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and push you to be that kind of awesome you know you deserve, is pretty huge.

I’ve thought about this so much recently, as I move from one phase of my life to the next, I’ve watched myself slowly but surely passing off the negative ties and stopping to relish the beautiful people who do lift me up and who do make me want to be the absolute best version of myself.

These people have very similar mindsets to me, they get that life is going to give you back what you put in, they are searching and striving for more out of themselves, out of this world, and they understand the concept that life is 10% actions and 90% reactions.

If you want to shine, surround yourself with the brightest stars and if you want to see the dark side of the universe then surround yourself with pessimists and the ignorant.

The choice really is yours; I know which one I choose.

~ Tuesdays has rolled around again, so linking in with the awesome #IBOT community ~

June 4, 2013 - 7:37 am

Lydia C. Lee - Quoting T.I “They say what goes up must come down
But I ain’t reached my cruising altitude
Take a look at what I did but can you imagine what I’m about to do
The places I’m ’bout to go and the money I’m bout to see
Gave Bill Gates some binoculars and said, look out for me”

Nothing like the rappers who come from nothing for a glimpse of potential inspiration and how to deal with the haters…

June 4, 2013 - 8:02 am

Me - I didn’t know there was a study that proved that but a few years ago I realised that there were some people we were mixing with and whenever we left their company, I felt drained and pulled down and awful. And slowly we stopped socialising with them – and socialising more with people who we felt uplifted us – it worked !!!
Have the best week !
Love, hugs and positive energy Lovely Lady !
Me

June 4, 2013 - 8:39 am

Jodi - Now that I am older I am more aware of those around me, and how I react with them. Some people in my past were draining, and I was exhausted after spending time even having a lunch with them. Nowadays being more conscious of who I spend time with, I surround myself with people who give me a boost, energy, who complement me, who I complement! Life is too short…

June 4, 2013 - 9:41 am

Deb @ Home life simplified - i totally agree. i also started making sure i was with people whop genuinely wanted me around. when i started mixing with parents at school i admit there were people i was drawn to and really wanted to connect with (they were nice, positive people who i had a lot in common with) but they all had a younger child still at home and met up separately.. slowly they formed a tight group and i was included from time to time but always felt like an add on and out of the loop of conversations etc I finally stopped striving to belong and found new friends (i am still friendly with those but no longer seek them out etc). i found MY right people and everything shifted for me, no more trying and no more feeling left out etc.

June 4, 2013 - 10:50 am

Cider In The Sun - Lydia – Love this quote!

June 4, 2013 - 10:51 am

Cider In The Sun - L (me) – It DOES work and i too have found myself leaving people and thinking holy crap, i feel utter exhaustion, and not from the laughs and the wines… just from their negative energies. Not good for the soul, thats for sure. I am glad you ahve found your people! x

June 4, 2013 - 10:52 am

Lisa - I totally agree with spending time with positive people. Also spend time with people whose words AND actions match up. Nothing annoys me more than people who do one thing and say another, which causes confusion and mixed messages. We are thinking of moving at the moment so I will take on this advice when making new friends.

June 4, 2013 - 10:52 am

Cider In The Sun - Jodi – SO true, oh so true, love these words! We all want to feel good and be around people who make us feel like that is a right we have! x

June 4, 2013 - 10:54 am

Cider In The Sun - Deb – Thats another step isnt it, to stop striving to be included and longing for something, instead just finding the no fuss people, that make you feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy. So glad you have found your tribe, ive been loving reading about your true happiness lately x

June 4, 2013 - 10:56 am

Cider In The Sun - Lisa – You are so right.. people whose words do not blend with their actions, what is THAT about. I don’t like this kind of person and am pretty quick to figure them out! Best of luck with the move, if and when it happens, I ahve no doubt you will find your pefect people x

June 4, 2013 - 11:51 am

Robyn (Mrs D) - I love this post and I couldn’t agree with you more! I have had a personal experience with a group of ‘Negative Nancy’s’ and the best thing I ever did for me was move on. xxx #IBOT

June 4, 2013 - 12:45 pm

Cider In The Sun - Go Mrs D! – you dont realise how bad it can be until you actually move on from people who suck the energy out of you! x

June 4, 2013 - 1:56 pm

Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me - Really interesting read thank you. I’m struggling with a particular friendship at the moment. A friend I’ve had since I was three. We just aren’t on the same path anymore though. She is extremely negative and I often feel unhappy and stressed out after seeing her. I know it is for the best to let her go for now, but hard to do all the same. Your post has given me something to think about. Thank you. Ps, I love your blog header. Beautiful.

June 4, 2013 - 3:45 pm

carmen - And thus why I’ve always moved on when the people around me didn’t feel supportive. It’s all give and take and I’ve learnt not to be a martyr as it’s only myself who’ll miss out. 😉
Love to you girl! x

June 4, 2013 - 4:08 pm

JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) - oh yes, I learned this long ago. Life is too short not to surround yourself with the best people. x

June 4, 2013 - 6:04 pm

Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions - This is so true and something that I really notice, particularly in the workplace. The more negative people you have to share an office with the more negative about the work you feel.

I’m lucky that most of the people in my life are generally positive people and I’ve done a fairly good job of distancing myself from those who don’t do anything to lift me up.

June 4, 2013 - 9:49 pm

Danya Banya - Rings true!

June 4, 2013 - 10:06 pm

Chantel - I’m definitely a big believer in this, and have recently realised that at around 30 years old, I unconsciously did exactly this. I distanced myself from those that sucked my energy, and brought close those that I have a reciprocal energy relationship with!

June 5, 2013 - 7:02 am

The Life of Clare - Meagan, I’ve read this post so many times and it’s blowing my mind. I’d like to think that I surround myself with people who will lift me higher, and through twitter this is made all the more possible. Great post! It really made me think!

June 5, 2013 - 8:28 am

Cider In The Sun - Renee – Ive had a few friendships like this, we hold on to them because they are the ones we’ve had for ALWAYS, but at the end of the day, we do all grow our seperate paths.. if you cant let her go, maybe just distance for a while. Maybe she will be on her own journey and fling off some of that negativity.. Best of luck and Thank you re blog header, beautiful isnt it! x

June 5, 2013 - 8:28 am

Cider In The Sun - Carmen – Hell to the YEAH. Why not choose the support and love and positivity.. we have the choice.. Love right back x

June 5, 2013 - 8:30 am

Cider In The Sun - Jodi – isn’t it just, I’m happy to have realised this in my mid 20’s and now carry it forward always. Such a wonderful life lesson x

June 5, 2013 - 8:31 am

Cider In The Sun - Kylez – Oh, the workplace is the pits! Its so hard to egt away from the negative nancy’s, because its not like outside where you ahev the choice. I’ve learnt to keep my head down and just look past these people, but it did take forever not to be sucked into their vortex! x

June 5, 2013 - 8:31 am

Cider In The Sun - Danya – 100% x

June 5, 2013 - 8:33 am

Cider In The Sun - Chantel – Its amazing if it can happenw ithout thinking about it! Good on you! “reciprocal energy relationship” – love this!

June 5, 2013 - 8:34 am

Cider In The Sun - Clare – Lovely lady, I think you are doing this and yes, twitter is bringing soul sistas together, haha and maybe some soul brothers! x

June 5, 2013 - 9:29 am

iSophie - This has come up for me a little bit, sometimes I feel like I am the one doing all of the ‘effort’ in a friendship. I do the same as many, distance myself and stop making that first effort.

June 5, 2013 - 3:06 pm

Josefa @always Josefa - what great advice! I have been trying to this, more so lately and I really think it does help. Maybe not immediately, but given time, you will notice a difference in the person you are and the opportunities that come your way xx

June 11, 2013 - 8:12 am

Kerrie - Happy Birthday Megs!!!
I really hope you have a wonderful day.

Mindful Monday

Oh, how simple we could make things for ourselves if we just removed all the expectations…

June 4, 2013 - 7:24 am

The Life of Clare - If only it was that simple to get rid of our expectations!

June 4, 2013 - 10:50 am

Cider In The Sun - I know clare, I know… we can try! x